You Don’t Have to Feel Confident to Do a Boudoir Shoot
Let’s get one thing out of the way: You do not need to feel confident to do a boudoir shoot.
Not even a little.
Not when you inquire.
Not when you arrive.
Not when you’re standing in your underwear trying to remember how to breathe while the camera lens comes into view.
Confidence is absolutely not a prerequisite here.
It’s not a personality trait you need to “earn” before you’re allowed to be photographed. And it’s definitely not something you need to fake.
In fact? Most people who walk into my studio don’t feel confident. At all.
They feel nervous. Vulnerable. Excited. A little sweaty.
They worry about their stretch marks or laugh lines or “weird” expressions.
They’re unsure what to do with their hands.
But here’s the thing — they still do the shoot. And by the time they leave, something’s shifted.
Because confidence isn’t the thing you need before the shoot, it’s the thing you build during it.
Confidence Is a Byproduct of Action
The first time, as an adult, that I learned that confidence is a byproduct of action was while traveling. At 22, I lived out of my car, driving all the way across the U.S. and Canada by myself, and at 25, I packed up and left for Central and South America to backpack solo.
I’ll be honest: I cried a lot during the first week of both trips.
In Seattle, then later in Mexico. Sitting there like, “What the hell am I doing? I chose this?” I remember thinking this is literally insane. I can’t believe I personally opted into this with my own brain.
But something deeper kept me going. I knew I had to do this for myself. I had to keep moving forward and I had to be brave, because I knew these trips would change me through challenging me FAR out of my comfort zone.
That’s how I became the confident person I am now — not by “feeling ready,” but by moving through fear anyway. Even while I sat crying in a hostel alone. Even when it was uncomfortable (and IT WAS). And now, that’s the energy I bring into my studio. I know firsthand how powerful it is to choose yourself before you're ready, and I know most of my clients are doing just that.
That’s where confidence actually comes from: not from perfection, but from evidence. Boudoir gives you that evidence.
But What If I Hate Being in Front of the Camera?
Join the club.
Most of my clients tell me they’ve never liked photos. Some avoid cameras altogether. Others only exist in group selfies, always half-hiding behind a friend.
So if that’s you? You’re human. And you're also my favorite kind of person to photograph.
Because what we do in a boudoir session isn’t about being photogenic. It’s about being present.
You don’t need to know how to pose. I’ll guide you the entire time.
The Myth of “Confidence First”
There’s this cultural idea that confidence is step one. That we need to fix ourselves first, and then suddenly we will be confident.
Lose 10 pounds, then maybe.
Heal the body image issues, then maybe.
Feel sexy again, then maybe.
But like we covered above: that framework is b-a-c-k-w-a-r-d-s. Boudoir isn’t the reward for loving yourself. It’s the practice of doing it anyway!
You are allowed to exist in photos even if you’re still learning to like yourself. You are allowed to take up space before you feel “worthy.” You are allowed to choose yourself now — not someday, not later — now!
Here’s What Happens When You Do It Anyway
When you show up without confidence and do it anyway, you start to trust yourself. You learn what you’re capable of. You watch yourself be vulnerable and — get this— survive. You’ll see photos and think, “Holy sh*t — that’s me?!” And maybe for the first time in a long time, you stop picking yourself apart.
You start showing yourself some damn grace. Confidence starts to feel less like a far-off fantasy and more like a muscle you’re actually building.
Let Me Say It Again, Louder:
You don’t have to feel confident to book a boudoir session.
You don’t have to feel confident to show up, wear lingerie (or not), and to be seen in your softness, your awkwardness, your bigness, your quietness.
You literally don’t have to feel confident to say yes to yourself. You just have to be curious. That’s all.
If there’s even a little whisper in you that wants to try this, follow it. The confidence will catch up later. I promise.